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What's Behind My Words

by Jared Rhodes

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1.
A True Goodbye by JTR A true goodbye is never the kind when someone leaves or someone dies Well in a way someone dies They change their lives for the worst And knowing that their fall seems like your fault it makes your heart want to burst Their old selves are gone and along with their unquenchable thirst for a different life Drowns in the pool of darkness that they themselves dove into headfirst Whoever this new you is I want no part of it I always said I would never give up but this time I’m calling it quits I loved you from the start and never stopped I hate to admit I was so blind I didn’t even try to listen to others about your beautiful lies and constant unneeded fits They say love is patient and kind but I could never tell Because everything you put me through were a few degrees short of a living hell Love is forgiving, on my side at least, as far as I could tell On your side you always remind me of what I did like a prisoner in a cell This whole mess we’re in has taught me a lesson Life is more than pretty girls and make out sessions Life is so much more than longing to be the groom instead of the best man You taught me that and for that I’m grateful Now all I have to do is wait for you to stop being so hateful I know your dad left you, and I know your mom’s not around That doesn’t mean that you should shut everyone down and glare at them and frown Wherever the old you is I want her to come back to town To hear her voice again, how sweet the sound We both should’ve know n this was never meant to be But our past clouded our judgment and made it hard to see Overtime we both tried to wash our hands clean Of all the lies we tried to hide and things we should have never seen We never intended for us to work We did break and we crashed and burned And it seems like after all we’ve been through there still isn’t much we have learned But I will never act like this didn’t happen I will not act like I walked through a puddle in the rain when in reality I sailed through rapids I’ll never forget that bus ride home where you said in our relationship you felt trapped in If that never happened we wouldn’t be in this corner that we both are backed in But I would relive all the pain and suffering caused by you If it helps me lead someone onto the path of the truth These words I write are not here to bash you It’s more to let everyone know I’m still see-through And now here is out end, with no more time to cry Here’s what you always wanted, a true goodbye
2.
Lost. Alone. Angry. Dead. Dark have been the thoughts inside of my head I was a lost soul full of corruption The only promised land for me was complete destruction Until I had this amazing divine interruption Which blew away all of my recent thoughts and assumptions I tried to be good but good’s not good enough What I need is perfection but who has that kind of stuff? No one does because the flaws in our genetics say that we are not up to snuff That would mean that for the Almighty’s presence to be seen by mere worms as us should never happen He should wash his hands clean of this dirty human race so filthy and obscene We are never going to get to God, with all of our hatred, lies, lusts, and frauds There is only one way, although the thought is quite odd We have to drop this “good works” and “have it your way” façade There needs to be a sacrifice who’s perfect and divine Who will come down and teach and show us wondrous signs And with thieves and harlots this sacrifice will dine Who will stir up dissent in those who think they are religious and so fine Who will show us love for its true design And who will put their whole life and perfection on the line God that for such unworthy creatures Because in them he saw missionaries and preachers And kingdom builders, musicians, and even teachers Who will go out and scream his name in the field and not sit quietly clapping in the bleachers Look to the cross with perverse eyes and see And reach out with unclean hands what Love had to do so you can know Him fully and be free This world were living through is just a road we go on and our bodies are just a shell of what we will truly be Once we make it into the arms of the Mighty King And in His glory we will bask and His praises we will sing Knowing that we are free of fear, pain, doubt, well, everything And in time everything will sing of the beauty of the scarred and risen King So for now we will run the race and fix our eyes on the glory that awaits and to be in His embrace is the ultimate prize We will not stumble because of the beast’s twisted worldviews and lies He will spray cologne on his words but even though it smells good it didn’t get rid of the flies There will come a time when that old serpent will run out of tries And be cast down into flame and never again arise But until then I will stay the course and take the long and lonely road With my sweet Savior’s arms carrying me to my final abode There’s nothing to decipher, translate, correct, or decode All you need to know is that Jesus paid the enormous debt of sin that my sinful self owed In return against the principalities of this world I will stand toe to toe And I won’t even need a car, house, lawn or a zip code And I’ll live every day like it’s my last so when it is my last I get to hear “Welcome Jared, my faithful servant” rather than “You got some explaining to to Mr. Rhodes” Lord use everything I’ve got for your glory Use it to tell your old but simple redemption story So you can show that Your Son’s last days, although they were quite gory What He did for the entire world is a treasure that you cannot find in any quarry For this worthless, disgusting, sinful world God gave his Son And if you were the only person on earth God would have done it for one Just so you could have another day in the sun But don’t sit back and relax, this journey has only begun Found. Joyful. Content. Alive. In your embrace, oh Lord, I will survive
3.
Nikki 02:56
Nikki by JTR Baby girl I see you sitting here With your eyes full of tears and your heart full of fear Asking yourself, “What am I to do? Another boy left me for someone else to screw.” Let me be the first to tell you, don’t give your heart to some fool I don’t know why you’re trying Your heart is of diamonds but quarters is all you get and everyone’s been buying Sweetie, all of these punks keep lying to your sweet face so you’ll keep crying Until the tears wash away the pain Sometimes you think you’re too stupid to even have a brain I’m here to tell you a different story You kept all of you bad habits and feelings in an inventory To make sure no one knows your story Your story is locked up in a drawer of socks in the back of your mind And to make sure no one sees behind your transparent mask You cover it up with duct tape and make up so that the numbness will last Darling, you say that all you need is a drink All alcohol does is make you think that you’re superhuman When sometimes you feel that you’re barely human You just want someone that you can love But you base love off on things you should have never been a part of Love, I know the real thing It can make you smile and your heart sing of the joy that he will give you That’s all I want for you I know that I haven’t been a good example But don’t let your new faith be trampled By the demons that want you dead Putting all of these evil thoughts in your head Making you feel like you can follow your own lead when in reality you’re alone crying in your bed I know God wasn’t there when you called But he will be there the next time you fall And you said to me, “You show off your God like new clothes at the mall Well I’ve seen it all. Your God just wants me to fall.” Girl, you’re in your bed weeping when at this time of night you should be sleeping And thinking of the days to come Of your husband and kids, wouldn’t that be fun? But you wont be happy until you’ve become beautiful in the eyes of the world Who cares about the world? You’re beautiful now. Who will love you forever? God loves you now. All you got to do is change now Listen I know that we’ve talked since a quarter past eleven But I’ll do whatever I can for you to be in heaven
4.
Maze 02:11
Maze by JTR They say God works in mysterious ways He can work through a trial, problem, high, low or phase You can see his ways when the world puts you in a haze and when you need to find a quiet place away from the crazy days He will guide you through this seemingly impossible maze MY God how will I ever survive this ever changing, twisting and turning maze? With so many open doors and ways Im so lost and confused and in a daze Don’t let my words be full of empty habits and meaningless worship and praise Wont you reveal yourself, and come and teach me your ways? “I will teach you and send angels to your side And keep you safe on life’s incredible but bumpy ride I know this maze is hard and your tried and tried and lied and lied to get by Just so you can have a place to hide and feel safe for a time Well come and take refuge in my arms my love, because I died To extinguish all your hate, anger and pride So that going through this maze can be the ride of your lives Because at the finish line is the ultimate prize.” So Ill take my chances with the devil’s sick kicks The best lie he ever told was that there was no way in the universe that we could be fixed So Jesus Christ came to prove him wrong and to take our well deserved licks So Ill dust the demons off my back and stand up tall And not look left or right so I wont stumble and fall Arms and voice raised giving my all To my sweet, sweet Savior because for me he would crawl For me he would fall For me he would be mauled For me he gave his last dying breath, the skin on his back, his all and all Someone so big and perfect gave up so much for someone so broken and small
5.
Who We Are 03:35
All I want is someone to hear my voice Out of everything else I could go this would be my choice With a crowd I want to laugh, cry, love, and rejoice I don’t care if I ever own a big house or drive a Rolls Royce What I want is to touch people’s hearts What I want is my words to tear stronghold apart I don’t want to be on TMZ or be #1 on the charts What I crave the most is to move people’s souls with my art I know sometimes it can become more of a habit than a dream So God forgive me if I ever put out some beautifully written self-fulfilling blasphemy Turn me away from my pride so that my words will set people free And with your power I can truly be me Open the eyes of my ever-changing heart so that I can see What ails listeners’ souls and how I can show them what they would really be And how we can turn up the heat without turning off the AC In God you can be who you are So I invite you to tear off your self-righteous masks and shine like the brightest of stars If you want to travel, let your legs take you far If you know about engines, go work on cars Remember that these gifts are from God, and he will bless you whether you teach kids, play sports, or play the guitar God has given you gifts for a reason Use them for a purpose all of the time instead of just for a season To do anything less with these gifts would be something between selfishness and treason Do not conform to this world’s sick design Always pushing things that will lead to you being bordered with a chalk outline To conform can be equated to playing Frisbee with a land mine After you’re done playing you ain’t gonna feel too fine Standing in front of the full wrath of the Lord, after you flatline Dear God bring my generation back Fulfill our needs and restore us of all the things we lack Like moms and dads to keep us on track And a little more intelligence to know not to waste cash on alcohol and crack Find your identity in the arms of God Don’t look for it in these petty lusts and frauds Or in pretty girls, big houses or hot rods Drop it all, the whole thing’s just a façade To take your eyes off the one true God
6.
A Man, a Tree, and a Friday (Father Forgive Them) by JTR This story that I am about to say is about a day A fateful day, a Friday A where many of us wake up and say “Hooray!” But this Friday was not one of those days This day, it seemed that evil had won The innocent had fallen and a time of darkness had begun A man’s time under the sun was about to be done And many of those who followed this man thought he was the One The One who would break his people’s chains The One who would bring back the old Empire and get rid of their pain None of them had foreseen that his people’s captors would be their hero’s bane The “Son of God” had seemingly died in vain But this man knew why he would die, so from all types of sin this man would abstain And die a sinner’s death on a rugged tree so that he could understand physical and emotional pain All for people who are innately selfish and inane And as blood dripped from his lips and later spilled from his hip and the sky became black like and eclipse Three small words escaped from his lips “Father forgive them” for it was what his captors were supposed to do He knew that this sacrifice and those three words were ultimately for me and you “Father forgive them” were the words this man chose to speak A man who practiced the most radical meaning of turn the other cheek “Father forgive them” were some of this man’s final words Oh what heartbreaking words if you and I were there to watch and that’s what we heard So as this man hung from this cross, and muttered “It is finished” and relinquished his own spirit The Veil between God and man was torn, and thunder clapped so loud everyone could hear it And onlookers just witnessed God die for mankind, so that the kingdom of God we would inherit No one could take Jesus’ life, but he willingly laid it down So when I am in heaven, I will willingly relinquish my crown And in my Savior’s loving embrace and grace I will drown And abide in a place where there is no sorrow, pains, burdens or frowns Because of His death, we have been set free Because of His death, we were blind but now we see Because of his death, we can be who we are supposed to be Through Your death, Lord Jesus, you have rescued me
7.
Do This For Me Son If You Can by JTR One day a phone call came and I heard my moms voice and the conversation began With "I'm gonna read you some lyrics from one of your favorite songs, Simple Man." I didn't understand, nor another lecture was I willing to stand But it cut me to the core when she said to be something I would love and understand Instead of crushing my flowering dreams she poured love out like a watering can She even skipped over the vocation/avocation speech, probably because I've heard it many times whether at the dinner table or while riding in the van But the words still ring true in the skynyrd song so vintage and old That I do not need earthly things and what I have cannot be bought or sold My mom raised me to never fit any kind of mold And that life is not all about keeping up with the Joneses and the rich mans gold She has always told me that I am going to find the one I'm supposed to always love And whenever she was unsure that the one I was with was the one some of my exes she would get rid of In all honesty my mother really is a Godsend from above I always listened closely to what my mom would say Even though my dad was in the background making me laugh in some kind of way And no matter how harsh or demanding the things my mom would say, she would always be there for me on a sunny or rainy day She modeled for me that it's not worth it to live so fast Because once you leave all you know behind you really feel like you finished last And that although we can't be burdened by it, we can always learn from our past It's interesting because a simple kind of man is the last thing I'm known to be I worry, I fret, I get angry, and when things get too hard to see My mom holds out her hand to show me where I could go but where I need to be And when I've done wrong shed show me what's right and lead me down onto my knees Because of my mother I know there's someone up above, somewhere in the sky Because it would take an all knowing God to create someone who can take care of this loud, stubborn goofy guy To teach this guy there is only do, no try and a little faith can make mountains fly And That wisdom is more beautiful than money, and other words to live and abide by And I know all she wants from me in return is to make good decisions, do my work, and simply be satisfied
8.
Healed to Heal by JTR Nothing seems to go her way Happiness never seems to stay She is screaming out for attention, some way, any way For some hero to take her away from this life so meaningless and grey Every once in a while, she will pray Shell pray and pray and pray and pray That when she goes to school she will stop being some cheerleader’s prey But when she finally musters up the courage to go its just business as usual, just another day Shell do just about anything for someone to stay There seems to be no one and she feels alone She cries out in a defeated tone “Won't someone melt my heart of stone? No. Because sometimes it seems that nobody cares All people like to do is just stare Maybe it's my clothes, my music, my fearful glares But when I am alone the quiet moments are when Im really scared Not many come to save me Even worse my parents don't even care about their baby They're the ones that made me?!? Those crazies?!? Who drink too much which makes their demeanor crazy Are the ones who are supposed to take care of me All I do is smile all the time so no one knows How much my depression and panic attacks grow I act cute to keep quiet my tortured soul So that if anyone asked if I need anything, I say "no" And at the same time I'm dying to be whole.” Darling, I know your hurting to be heard To just spread your wings and fly like a bird away from this place But instead no one listens and you get chewed up like a cow's curd and get your words spat in your face Forget those hypocrites whos judgements are blurred Who they want you to be is just plain absurd Run to God, and find peace and love in his Word “His word? Run to God? You wanna know how long I’ve waited for God Too long have I wallowed in the muddy waters of my life and too far have I clawed My way out to where I am, and where was your God? Oh that’s right. You and your God are nothing but frauds. So please stop talking about your made up story If your God is real he must not have too much glory. Because trust me you don’t want to know my story.” Baby, listen, I know the truth, and God loves you When you feel alone remind yourself over and over again He’ll be by your side and he’ll even carry you You must realize that He wants you He also wants you to Heal others because you know how bad it hurts Break free of your bonds because his skin was broken first Bring those you love to His well so they shall never thirst And believe that his birth Caused a chain reaction And didn't change just a mere fraction But all of you, so go and take action Live your life to the fullest in his name Praise the One True God without any shame Preach the word and lay hands on the sick, blind and lame And I guarantee you will never be the same “Ill never be the same? Huh. That’s nice. Look I know why you continue to persist But what Ive done is as permanent as these tattoos on my arms and scars on my wrist I tried to fix myself but my vision is shrouded by a mist that consists of a lot of my story’s turns and twists While you were raised on open hands I was born with clenched fists One time I went to one of the services, and the alter call was made, but I wouldn’t budge Because as soon as I walked in, the way people looked at me I knew I was their new target to judge So there you have it. That’s why I don’t need your God. That is why I have my grudge. So you and your hateful religion can get in line. Ive had enough dissapointments for one life. Its been too harsh of an environment, and too much strife Too many people whose words cut like a knife For me to accept this ‘eternal life’” Darling I know all about this situation you’ve been placed in All the evil you’ve been facing is a road block of Satan you’ve been building with the wrong cornerstone and basin I know youre lifes been full of let downs and frustration But God will lead you not into temptation
9.
My Chains are Gone by JTR Amazing grace for me was found When I stumbled and fell to the ground It was an understatement to say that I was hell bound But even still It touched my blind eyes and deaf ears, how sweet the sound Grace came down in the flesh for all to see That there is something about that man that by ourselves we could never be And when he died the darkness hidden inside began to flee He did it all to save a wretch like me Gone are the chains of lust and hate Who knew that after making my own choices this would be my fate I took the nice soft low path instead of the high road that is narrow, rugged, and straight No one could take away this burden so I will have to wait For a Savior to cleanse my soul and to build me up and make me whole To take this cardboard box of religion and put in some air holes And to make talking to God more like chilling with my best friend than awkward small talk at the punch bowl He will my shield and potion be however the dice rolls I’ve been set free of the of the bonds of this life No longer worrying about this world’s drama or strife I will fear no man wielding either a gun or a knife No longer will I worry about what will be my job or who’ll be my wife And like a flood, He will wash me clean I am no longer diseased and obscene I have seen what it really means to give my life to Christ and not just saying a small prayer when you turn 15 His unending love is what ive seen His amazing grace. On it I lean. His amazing grace, because of it my hope is secure This love sick feeling has no cure So cleanse me oh God let your water pour Let me see your Gospel beyond the brochure May your presence grow in size and my pride become miniature May his amazing grace flow as long as life endures
10.
This is a song for the broken, an anthem for the off-key This is a tune to listen to when the answer’s too tough to see This is a melody for those who were in chains and are finally free So if you want to be free, take the time to listen to me Scratch that, don’t listen to me Tap into what’s behind my words The truth is there shining through and it’s just waiting to be heard To those with built-up walls around them and feel so self-assured I’d like to see your faces when your walls crumble from the power of this unstoppable Word These words that you hear are not my own It’s God’s spirit living within my dust-filled bones My heart humbled and my sins atoned letting me live without any heavy burdens or loans Most think He is up in space on his celestial throne But He’s right beside me so I’ll never be alone So to the intellectuals, to the politicians, kings and scribes The ones who feed on confusion and disbelief to survive No longer from the truth will my nation be deprived We will take the sword to your symbiotic hive of lies To show that God cannot be dead but is truly alive Are you all too ignorant and proud to just open your eyes and see it? Are you too stubborn and is your heart too hard to feel it? Are there not enough facts to just submit, let go, agree to it? It’s on the back of your money and in your allegiance and you still don’t believe it. Some groups are suddenly intolerant because their opinion isn’t the same You push acceptance and push away the antithesis, saying its outdated and lame Free religion and being all you can be is why to this country we came Worship God or whoever and work hard enough to make yourself a name But today its not politically correct to pray in school but acceptable to cheat your way through this devilish game Don’t get me wrong, this country is great, but it’s not the same. Things have changed Its time for us to defame the falsehoods and patriotic chains And reveal all of the hidden guilt and shame Oh what a shame. You sold a broken lie, you ran an unneeded race We can see right through your political poker face You can keep your forked tongues behind your mouths because the truth we will embrace We will stand against you and the unseen principalities face to face We will fight for our right down on our knees and blow the roof off this place Singing So here we stand, off-key anthem resonating through the sky Worshiping the One True God until the day we die Never will we stumble and never will we be skittish or shy How can you lie to yourself when your True master cannot deny The presence of my Jesus, even he has to comply So when he rears his ugly head and look him in the eye And not back down because of who I have as an ally So the lonely, the broken, the downtrodden, with tears in your eyes I pray you stand tall with the full armor of God, fist in the air, singing this war cry Let Freedom Ring

about

Everything we do should be for God's glory. Not many completely give their talents to Him alone. As for me, Jesus Christ will direct every stroke of the pen and every word I type. Don't listen to what I have to say. Listen to what God has to say.
JTR

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released July 8, 2014

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Jared Rhodes Fayetteville, North Carolina

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